Weddings...

It's my cousin's wedding this Saturday and I am sort of dreading it. I've only ever helped do wedding business once before but I feel like I never want to get mixed up in it ever again. For this wedding, I am supposed to Emcee the even along with the bride's brother. I agreed to do this because in a way, I am weak and have trouble saying "no" to people.

This got me thinking and talking to my boyfriend. We spoke about how events would unravel if we were to get married. Surprisingly, I discovered that in this point of time in life, my boyfriend and I honestly don't even care how our wedding would play out. The more we talked about it, the more it felt like this was just a huge party to impress others. Though it is a celebration of the union of two people, it just seemed like it would be too much trouble to have everything go "your way" for the day. This might be due to the fact that both of us are used to the traditional cultural wedding and we're both okay with it (the weddings are usually BARELY any planning) or we've just both come to realize that we'd be much less stressed and less frustrated if we just rolled with the punches.

I talked to a good friend about this and she was sort of shocked. I told her exactly how I felt about weddings and she asked me "Wouldn't you be excited at all? What about the dress?". Yes, I think I would have fun picking out the dresses and also, it's not like I wouldn't get all dolled up for my own wedding. But I definitely wouldn't enforce a seating plan or have a really formal wedding that was organized so much that it would almost be like a theatre performance.

As of right now, this is exactly how I feel about my own future wedding but hey, things might change when the time finally comes.

Substituting...

So I've finished my first 3 full day of substitute teaching in a "rough" school.

Many people who live in the city would probably think that this school is one that is difficult to work with, but since I don't have too much experience with other schools - I can't tell if the students behaviours are normal or not.

I must say that my very first day was a bit difficult (far more difficult than the last 2 days I had been working there). I walked into the school about 30 minutes early for the day and I felt prepared and ready. When first period began, I felt that it was ok but the class that came in during the second period really tested my patience.

The students were to complete assignments given to them using the internet. Of course, when kids an internet mix - it's mostly facebook and flash games that they play. What is interesting is that the students have found a way to access facebook even though the board of education has the pages blocked. Through some close observation, I've figured out how they do so. Anyway, most of the kids pretend to do their work and have a window open with appropriate websites and when I walked by, they would maximize the window and minimize the game/facebook window. I know that they think that I don't pay attention to the taskbar (or I can't see the screen from farther than 2 feet away...) but if you have the window open when I walk by, I won't bug you. But of course, there were 4 boys who did not even TRY and open the proper website. This is how the conversation went when I walked by:

Me: Guys, make sure you are opening the websites and getting some work done. Close the games.
Student: Yeah yeah...
Me: Really. You need to start working on this because your regular teacher will probably collect it.. it looks like it's worth a lot of marks.
Student: Miss, we don't NEED to do work. We're on the football team.
Me: (Thinking... "what?!?") Well, you can't rely on football for the rest of your life.. you need an education too.
Student: Well, I can get a football scholarship.
Me: . . . .

So... what should I have said? I honestly didn't know what else to do other than to bug them now and again to do their work. At the end of the period I can honestly say that maybe only 2 students had done work. It is so difficult to establish authority when you're a substitute teacher.. and how do you get kids to do work when they honestly don't give a rats ass about school?

Well - I'm still going to be at the school for the rest of the week, so we'll see how this week goes.

Bittersweet

Things are a bit bittersweet for me right now. On the plus side, I've finally gotten onto a supply list and soon I will finally do what I wanted to do this past year. On the minus side, I've realized that I have not been as great of a friend as I thought I was.

Time to really get on that New Years resolution which went a little bit like this:
Be a better friend and try to forgive and forget.